HOW NOT TO WRITE A BOOK

On July 11, 2017, in Uncategorized, by trayho

The following autobiography is atrociously written like the Democrats and Republican health bills. But, it’s still a story. I just had the courage to try and succeeded – never mind the grammar and the unedited. Should you like please tell others. I’m spending a lot of time revising my autobiography with new stories. Sometime in the future before the year is out I will have a new version posted. That is, if I live that long. I just turned 81 and have a few health issues like: Diabetes, sleep apnea, ulcers, prostrate problems, eight stents in me, acid reflux, ingrown toe nails, constipation, Dr. Alzheimers visiting more often . . . But you know what – I feel like a million dollars . . . in counterfeit money . . . this is why I named my story Humor is the Laxative for a Troubled Mind. You may get bored in the beginning, but trust me, you’ll enjoy my silly humor. “Humor is the sunshine of the mind.”  I also maintain another blog of political commentary. www.barrioopinions.com. I can be reached at 602-359-5229 (Frank)

TABLE OF CONTENT

1. Moving to the barrio after a family divorce meant being hungry all the time.
2. A Lil’ Black Cloud always seemed to descend upon me, indicative of gloomy things about to happen.
3. The coach in grammar school was a pervert – lifting the dress of little girls.
4. A towel ruined my education.
5. I bought and pushed my first car home – it didn’t have a battery.
6. The bartender wouldn’t serve my monkey a drink.
7. While in the National Guard at camp my Sarge wrote a love letter for me to my girl and she fell in love with him.
8. When asked when I got married I’d respond “the moment my daughter was conceived.”
9. While on the ball field warming up before the game my pant zipper wouldn’t work; I discovered my pants were inside out.
10. Our wood-burning stove begged for wood. Luckily a lumber yard across the street was soon depleted of its inventory.
11. I was the only non-black student in an all-black high school.
12. I fell in love with my outhouse.
13. I was arrested for selling machine guns. Some mistakenly thought I was helping the Castro Revolution.
14. Johnny Carson bummed a cigarette off me at Caesars’ Palace.
15. I coined the following “Give a gay an inch and he’ll suck a mile.”

 

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